three rooms in three years (2010 memories)

since i decided to pursue my postgrad in 2008 in the north part of the country (the national capital region), i have lived in three different rooms... all i wanted was a space, good enough for me to be able to do my reading, my thinking, my laundry and ocassional cooking...and yes, some space for once-in-a-while-sleeping (read: i sleep once-in-a-while, but i stay there all-the-time).

first was chosen by an old flame who went all the way from his place in cavite to manila area to find me a room/bedspace conducive enough for my needs yet affordable enough for my budget (the scholarship fund isn't enough you bet). he found a beautiful 3-floor townhouse accepting lady bedspacers for 2000 php each (US$1=45 php). there may be four or six in a well-ventilated, semi-furnished room with one toilet and bath on each. it's a great deal save for-- you have to pay extra for each electronic or electrical gadget you might use and contribution for the gas if you'd be cooking/using the kitchen. lived there for more than a semester til i have to look for another place coz the residents have become too comfy for comfort.

in situations such as that, you have to practice maximum tolerance, especially you are dealing with about twelve people (most in their 20s-some generation gap huh) in just one roof. some may borrow your personal stuff without permission (or belatedly); some may wonder about you and presume things about you (your schedule and way of doing things such as your-wanting-all-your-books-near-you-in-your-bed) without even caring to ask you upfront (honestly, why should they even care as long as you are not using up their space/time); and some may bring in their friends (though friends of the opposite sex aren't allowed to enter bedrooms) playing cards, laughing , giggling and shouting til the wee hours of the morning. the place was beautiful but that (the noise and nighttime gaming events, including the possible SH-invits sssh sssh) went on until you feel like you have to find a new place.

second was a room in a three-bedroom flat near the university. it's an old old building with about 20 units for rent. all i needed was a bedspace (and that time, two other girls from the previous place decided to transfer with me). we have found a room for 4500 php. it's small and dusty. it's bare and the wall paint (one side on cement, one side on wood) is obviously more than a decade old. the provision for kitchen, toilet and bath is shared with residents of  two other rooms. maybe it's the no-curfew, no landlady-in-the-house situation that made us decide to get the room. maybe it's the fact that it's a ride away from the nearest mall, or a walk-away from the university, the hospital and the church or maybe, just maybe it is all we can afford--that would be 1500 php for each of us. cleaning up, putting life-sized landscape posters, we managed to make the room as homey (best-effort) as it can be. lived there for about a year with only some issues not that difficult to handle or disregard.

now that the roommates have left (one graduated from college, the other decided not to take the board exams after failing, hence deciding to work somewhere and somewhat unrelated to her course), i couldn't afford the rent for the entire room. so i transferred to a smaller (smallest!) room - the third, say about two meters long and one meter wide (?).  i have to haggle with the landlord to have me pay 2500 php instead of his initial offer of 3000 php, so he gave in (500 php is about two weeks supply of eggs and instant pancit canton!)-thank goodness.

was it liveable? oh well,  i have to make it that way. cleaning up (with soap, antibac and later floorwax), purchasing a small electric fan and recycling old CDs and magazines made it look less of a staircase-storeroom. being alone isn't that bad at all, in fact, it is way better. it's like having your own world...up to the time that you need to answer the call of nature. snap! back to earth. inday, put on your bathrobe 'coz the boyfriend or the father of another housemate or the nephews or the aide of the landlord may be just on the common area, you don't wanna be seen in your usual-almost-see-through-pjs, dontcha?! haaayyy

...the wall drawings that you are seeing are my almost-hopeless efforts to make the second room/bath a little homey. armed with just a pint of pink paint (one housemate had her on-job-training at boysen paint, how she got it is another story :) ), i did the deed one very hot dawn...

this is why i changed status from'married' to 'engaged'

i have been staring at this page for an hour now.
still nothing good came out...
i'm not sure if i'm having a block or
i always am just lost for words whenever i intend
to write something about the hubby.

it started from thinking about father's day
and the fact that he deserved a tribute- but i'm lost for words.
for now i couldn't say, or write anything, aside from
he is the most normal person i have ever met.
nyay! that wouldn't be a good tribute.

i'm saving this page
so i can edit when i'm more ready
or more willing to share to the world
or if i'd have the power
to convert more than a million words to
one short blog entry. yes, he is that much!
and much much more...

but here's a peek:
once last month i asked him if he wanted to
renew our marriage contract
should it expire on the 10th year
(that would be 2011)-
he said he will if i wanted to.
that was irritatingly sweet.
as if he is back to courting
me like years ago...
so now, i'm engaged to him, again.

33 is just a number

22nd of march, i turned 33, oh well, earth years. i, as usual received lots of greetings (not lots of gifts though: the number of gifts received is inversely proportional to the age of the celebrator). even as i managed to feel well and do some little celebrations, it was nothing compared to the stresses i had. thanks to the finals exams, exit papers and the ever-dreaded (so far) comprehensive exams.

it's been 4 days since then, and only now have the birthday material sank in my thoughts (it's funny how it managed to squeeze in during times of fever and wishing-you-were-numb-moments). i have turned 33, i always feel 13, now i feel 53. it's been 2 years since i decided to pursue a postgrad that's somewhat far from what i intend to www.sakura-withdrawalpangs.blogspot.com/2008/08/my-life-so-far.html . it's been a year since a crying-almost-angry-young lady called and asked me to halt the curse to her father (turned out that this year, she's the sweetest greeter ever) www.sakura-withdrawalpangs.blogspot.com/2009/03/birthday-blast-indeed.html .

what is in store for this year? i have been feeling pains in some parts of my body which the paranoid in me might insist as a sign of cancer or tumor or 'dying soon' disease. i have been hearing the same thing happening to some people who are close to me. apparently, my mind-disease is contagious (that's the punchline, laugh now). i have found "one true friend" and several good others; them, just enough to keep my sanity on hold. my boyman and manboy are managing well without me, so they say and sadly make me feel at times.

okay, this is the time when i have to battle with my inner demons and finish what i have started. it's a long long walk. i'd run if i have to. but for now, i need some peace. may i rest in peace?

remembering the roots (literally)

it's been days since i came to manila again...and as expected, separation anxiety sat in. it's hard to be far away from the places and the people you love especially when you are about to get used to it again.

together with being far again is the struggle- emotional, physical, intellectual, spiritual...financial. some light and easy, some too heavy to bear.

but on days like those, i just keep in mind the roots...the roots of the plants. observe them...look at those plants that you always water, their roots are thin and bundled, you can easily remove the plant with one hand from the soil...

meanwhile, those plants that you don't water much have roots that are bigger, somewhat unbundled and grow deeper into the soil...maybe that's what we need, that's what i need: a once in a while semi-drought.