DEAR... would you please D(rop) E(verything) A(nd)... R(ead) :)

good byes are necessary for us to meet again

they are my friends, i talk and listen (read: read) to them almost every night, topics range from believing in myself to journeys of a confused to learning a thing or two about other culture...i depend on them when my mind is tired...when my heart is aching...when my body can not seem to take the pressures my mind and heart are subjecting themselves into. in short, they are my savior- my bedside books.

but there came a time that i used them as an escape, they send me far from where i am, and there i go hoping and wishing that i'd never go back to what i should be doing (reading-scholarly journals, writing-scholarly articles)... they are good friends, they shield me from hurts, they take me as far as i want them to, they hide me from my monsters and make me feel alright for a time. soon, i was seeing more of them than what is needed, i had to re-think and rethinking i did. hurting as it may seem, i tied them (all 25 of them- see list below) using my favorite red ribbon, placed them in  a good bag and had them sent to my old study area 2-hour plane ride away from where i am now.

i had to say goodbye to them...and yes, as the old savior's manual would say--- goodbyes are necessary for friends to meet again. i know i'd see them again. i'd be able to talk to them again. i'd have them beside me again, just ever-near when i need them. but for now, i had to let go of them so they won't be used as an escape- 'coz it's becoming unfair to them to be treated that way. goodbye dear friends.

jonathan livingston seagull - running from safety - illusions, the adventures of the reluctant messiah - a gift of wings - biplane - nothing by chance - one - bridge across forever - hypnotizing maria - the prophet - punchlines - loving each other - humor for a women's heart - the 12th angel - sula - eat pray love - stainless longganisa - silas marner - mr. blue - songs of solomon - oliver twist -  trivia of the silver screen - to kill a mockingbird - memoirs  of a geisha - best of a lady - robinson crusoe (audio)

lines from DEAR JOHN (that i can't seem to forget)

"Our story has three parts: 

a beginning, a middle, and an end. 

And although this is the way all stories unfold, 

I still can't believe that ours didn't go on forever."

"When you're struggling with something, 

look at all the people around you and realize that 

every single person you see is struggling with something, and to them, 

it's just as hard as what you're going through."

"I finally understood what true love meant...

love meant that you care for another person's happiness more than your own, 

no matter how painful the choices you face might be."

"And when her lips met mine, 

I knew that I could live to be a hundred and visit every country in the world,

 but nothing would ever compare to that single moment 

when I first kissed the girl of my dreams and 

knew that my love would last forever."

 

[dear john (for those who aren't familiar-but i doubt there's one) 

is a novel written by nicholas sparks]

bored at work? been there, been that (throwback 2010)

we all get our share of those days when we feel oh-so-bored at work...sometimes there's a cause for it (stressor-boss, dead-end job and the like), sometimes, it just happens, as if it's a part of an unending cycle. here are 5 of the things i did before to boot me out of the feeling, might (fingerscrossed) work for you too:

1. following the advise of a plurkfriend, i tried getting enough sunlight, fresh air, and exercise before work. i also did brisk-walking (pretending i'm about to miss someone or something if i don't rush) in-between work and people-watching (best place to do this is a university park) after work.

2. 'coz it cured my boredom in the past, i tried helping a friend's organization- planning learning sessions and activities for out-of-school youth. i also did encoding for a citizens group, and packing of relief goods (among others) after-work time til after midnight. yeah, it's selfishness(and selflessness altogether). you may also want to go out and pick up trash in your community (did this with my playmates when i was 10)- and get fun not from picking trash but from the look on the people's faces wondering what you're up to. that gave me something to think about (other than work) while at work, and something to look forward to too.

3. oh this one's a sure hit- visit the library (or if you can't go out during work hours, surf surf surf) and check out some weird books (i read witchcraft).

4. i did something new! i tried learning japanese (used a book) then french (used an audio-book) then mandarin (used a book again) then spanish (this i did online) then german (attended saturday classes). didn't succeed at all of it but it sure did steal some of those boring moments (hopelessly trying to translate curses in my head). i tried learning the sign language (something to do with my fingers during dull moments) - i ended up to only learning words that are in two songs used by my teacher...i also tried to learn how to dance the way bollywood stars do just with a compilation of music videos from india (spent a lot of time imagining and laughing at myself while working)- whew! fun!

5. i re-decorated my fugly room (again, something to occupy mind and look forward to)! with magazines and newspaper first then old CDs and post-its. but if you don't want to or afraid you might feel depressed instead of just bored afterwards, just exercise-pushing furniture this way and that.

yeah, those are my top 5 attempts...as i stated in the beginning, some worked (for most, only for a while) some didn't but hey, nothing's not worth trying :) if one of these works for you, tell me about it...but if none, you can tell me about it too, let's share a good laugh and go back to spending/stealing some time of boredom at work searching for a new job. (lol)

well well well

10 commandments (for husbands only)

yes, i did that on purpose. i intend to just enumerate here the 10 commandments for husbands as given by dr. harold sala (founder &president of guidelines international inc.- an international christian ministry) in his book 'ten commandments for husbands and wives' (omf literature)... it is because i noticed that in most bookstores, guidelines are mostly given to the female group (how to preserve a husband was even printed in a poster form). 

perhaps it's because the female group are also the reading-group hence, authors/printers see better feasibility if such were the target. hmmm...anyways, husbands (and wives- print this for whatever purpose it may serve) ---here they are (with one-liners from each of the brief discussion) :

TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR HUSBANDS

1. keep your priorities straight (thou shalt make the building of thy home thy first business) - your responsibility to your family shouldn't be in conflict with the obligation to your employer.
2. meet your wife's needs (thou shalt remember that thy wife hath need of more than food, clothing and shelter) - the need for companionship, the need for communication, the need for a friend.
3. don't take your wife for granted (thou shalt not take thy wife for granted) -[yes, that was repeated in the book that way. for emphasis, i guess.]
4. make your wife a partner (thou shalt not think thy business is none of thy wife's business) - you're in a partnership called marriage.
5. don't squeeze the purse (thou shalt not deal grudgingly with thy wife) - you shall not ask an accounting of every coin unless you make a similar accounting to her.
6. lead the way in discipline (thou shalt cooperate with thy wife in establishing family discipline) - don't you leave the disciplining to your wife, and don't you dare to fail in backing her up...
7. eat it and love it (thou shalt not complain about thy wife's cooking for it will be as discord in thy household harmony) - [oh well, enough said here...go on cooking girl!].
8. leave your gloom at work (thou shalt enter into thy house with cheerfulness) - remember that your wife thought she married a man, not a bear.
9. hang together (thou shalt not let anyone criticize thy wife to thy face and get away with it - neither thy mother, nor thy father nor thy breathren, nor thy sisters nor any others that are relatives) - [ i could just imagine the wive's reaction here...i say, whew!]
10. lead the way spiritually (remember thy home and keep it holy) - assume the spiritual responsibility for their (the family) souls. no one else can do that for you.

the little prince...my little prince

this morning i started the day with "alice in wonderland" in mind...the words from the book never cease to amuse me...until plurkfriend tatcee asked about global citizenship. with that, i suddenly thought of "the little prince". fancy that, just like 'unsing it' when you keep having the 'last song syndrome'...anyways, here are my favorite quotes from the book written by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry.

Grown-ups never understand anything by themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them.

Grown-ups love figures. When you tell them that you have made a new friend, they never ask you any questions about essentail matters. They never say to you, “What does his voice sound like? What games does he love best? Does he collect butterflies?” Instead, they demand: “How old is he? How many brothers has he? How much does he weigh? How much money does his father make?” Only from these figures do they think they have learned anything about him.

If you were to say to the grown-ups: “I saw a beautiful house made of rosy brick, with geraniums in the windows and doves on the roof,” they would not be able to get an idea of that house at all. You have have to say to them: “I saw a house that cost $20,000.” Then they would exclaim: “Oh, what a pretty house that is!”

“One day,” you said to me, “I saw the sunset forty-four times!” And a little later you added: “You know--one loves the sunset, when one is so sad…” “Were you so sad, then?” I asked, “on the day of the forty-four sunsets?”But the little prince made no reply.

“Well, I must endure the presence of two or three caterpillars if I wish to become acquainted with the butterflies. It seems that they are very beautiful.”

“Why are you drinking?” demanded the little prince. “So that I may forget,” replied the tippler. “Forget what?” inquired the little prince, who already felt sorry for him. “Forget that I am ashamed,” the tippler confessed, hanging his head. “Ashamed of what?” insisted the little prince, who wanted to help him. “Ashamed of drinking!”

“When he lights his street lamp, it is as if he brought one more star to life, or one flower. When he puts out his lamp, he sends the flower, or the star, to sleep. That is a beautiful occupation. And since it is beautiful, it is truly useful.”

“Men?” she echoed. “I think there are six or seven of them in existence. I saw them, several years ago. But one never knows where to find them. The wind blows them away. They have no roots, and that makes their lives very difficult.”

“I thought that I was rich, with a flower that was unique in all the world; and all I had was a common rose. A common rose, and three volcanoes that come up to my knees--and one of them perhaps extinct forever… That doesn’t make me a very great prince…” And he lay down in the grass and cried.

“To me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you, I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world…If you tame me, it will be as if the sun came to shine on my life...You have hair like the color of gold. Think how wonderful that will be when you have tamed me! The grain, which is also golden, will bring me back the thought of you. And I shall love to listen to the wind in the wheat…”

“You are beautiful, but you are empty,” he went on. “One could not die for you. To be sure, an ordinary passerby would think that my rose looked just like you--the rose that belongs to me.”

“It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”

“What makes the desert beautiful,” said the little prince, “is that somewhere it hides a well…”

"All men have the stars," he answered, "but they are not the same things for different people. For some, who are travellers, the stars are guides. For others they are no more than little lights in the sky. For others, who are scholars, they are problems. For my businessman they were wealth. But all the stars are silent. You--you alone--will have the stars as no one else has them--"


and as for my personal request---this quote does more like it:

Wait for a time, exactly under the star. Then, if a little man appears who laughs, who has golden hair and who refuses to answer questions, you will know who he is. If this should happen, please comfort me. Send me word that he has come back.

need i write more? ah yes! watch the movie version. it's beautifully done too!

a message of love

I’m here. I love you.

I don’t care if you need to stay up crying all night long. 

I will stay with you. 

If you need the medication again, 

go ahead and take it—

I will love you through that, as well. 

If you don’t need the medication, I will love you, too. 

There’s nothing you can ever do to lose my love. 

I will protect you until you die, 

and after your death I will still protect you. 

I am stronger than Depression 
and 

Braver than Loneliness 
and nothing will ever exhaust me. 

from http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/11679.Elizabeth_Gilbert

some fear can be good

“He knew sometimes some fear can be good. 

When you are afraid things are going to get worse 

if you don't do something, 

it can prompt you into action. 

But it is not good when you are afraid 

that it keeps you from doing anything.”

― Spencer Johnson, Who Moved My Cheese?

from thoughts to paper to thoughts once more

anticipating chooseday, thinking of tuesdays with morrie

Sometimes you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel. And if you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them, too – even when you’re in the dark. Even when you’re falling.

What if today were my last day on earth? … 
Is this all? 
Is this all I want? 
Is something missing?...
I knew what he was saying. 
We all need teachers in our lives.

To know you’re going to die, and to be *prepared* for it at any time That’s better. That way you can actually be *more* involved in our life while you’re living. How can you ever be prepared to die?... Do what the Buddhists do. Every day, have a little bird on your shoulder that asks, ‘Is today the day? Am I ready? Am I doing all I need to do? Am I being the person I want to be?’…once you learn how to die, you learn how to live.

… detachment doesn’t mean you don’t let the experience *penetrate* you. On the contrary, you let it penetrate you *fully*. That’s how you are able to leave it.…Take any emotion – love for a woman, or grief for a loved one…. if you hold back on the emotions – if you don’t allow yourself to go all the way through them – you can never get to being detached, you’re too busy being afraid. You’re afraid of the pain, you’re afraid of the grief. You’re afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails.But by throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your head even, you experience them fully and completely. You know what pain is. You know what love is. You know what grief is. …
I have experienced that emotion. 
I recognize that emotion. 
Now I need to detach from that emotion for a moment.
Same for loneliness: you let go, let the tears flow, feel it completely – but eventually be able to say, All right, that was my moment with loneliness. I’m not afraid of feeling lonely, but now I’m going to put that loneliness aside and know that there are other emotions in the world, and I’m going to experience them as well.

...For all the things we didn’t do. All the things we should have done. You can’t get stuck on the regrets of what should have happened. That doesn’t help you when you get to where I am. I always wished I had done more with my work; I wished I had written more books. I used to beat myself up over it. Now I see that never did any good.  
Make peace. 
You need to make peace with yourself 
and everyone around you. 

[these are my favorite quotes from the book :)]

KaEskwela is (heart)

this is a semi-repost  :) ...
one of the best decisions i made in 2010 was joining KaEskwela. it's my friend katie's lovegroup and it's not difficult to see why it is so. kaeskwela (in filipino) means "schoolmate". and you know how schoolmates and classmates are- no matter where they go or what happened to them years after, they always feel they belong (to the school, to each other) and that's the spirit we're banking on... Kaeskwela (http://www.kaeskwela.org/) is a group of volunteers who help public schools in the Philippines. being a volunteer (and a teacher too), i share the belief that education is a foundation for building better lives and nations. school kids must at least have or enjoy their journey towards that...this is the call of the group (might as well be a challenge to all): Think of the many ways you can help beyond just giving money: understand what a school needs, coordinate donations to respond to these needs, hold training sessions for teachers, assist in fund-raising events, help feed undernourished children -- you may have ideas, too, that could help your local school. soon, one school at a time, we can make dreams come true!


one dream shared by members since last year was to build a library for Lara Integrated School in San Fernando, Pampanga. the parents of the students have volunteered their labor to help build the library. the teachers have committed to help organize and run it. KaEskwela, have found book donors for the library---all's that missing is this certain sum of money to buy the building materials.

one of the few plans to earn such is the rummage sale...we had it in katipunan on september 24th and 25th. preparations and pricing is not easy but when you think of the possibility of earning for a cause, nothing's difficult :) we got us more that 11000 php in 2 days...that's a woot! (far from what we need though but still enough to keep our spirits high)... part2 of the rummage sale was november 12th and 13th...part 3 was january 12th (that time twas in banchetto pioneer, amidst the food offered by the caravan---we got us more than 4000php then)... part 4 will be on the 28th - at banchetto emerald. anything you can do to help (donate goods for the sale, buy goods during the sale, volunteer your time, share to others what our activity is about), please do. together let's help make dreams come true.

kaeskwela hurray!!!

i have decided to join KaEskwela after my dissertation proposal defense in august. i needed some fresh air after the event so i went to visit my dear friend kate in makati. we had brunch then. she didn't know i just came from a big academic event of my life that time and i'm glad because what we talked about is a better breather :)

KaEskwela is katie's lovegroup and i immediately realized why it is so. kaeskwela (in filipino) means "schoolmate". and you know how schoolmates and classmates are- no matter where they go or what happened to them years after, they always feel they belong (to the school, to each other) and that's the spirit we're banking on... Kaeskwela (http://www.kaeskwela.org/) is a group of volunteers who help public schools in the Philippines. being a volunteer (and a teacher too), i share the belief that education is a foundation for building better lives and nations.

school kids must at least have or enjoy their journey towards that...this is the call of the group (might as well be a challenge to all): Think of the many ways you can help beyond just giving money: understand what a school needs, coordinate donations to respond to these needs, hold training sessions for teachers, assist in fund-raising events, help feed undernourished children -- you may have ideas, too, that could help your local school. soon, one school at a time, we can make dreams come true!

one dream shared by members since last year was to build a library for Lara Integrated School in San Fernando, Pampanga. the parents of the students have volunteered their labor to help build the library. the teachers have committed to help organize and run it. KaEskwela, have found book donors for the library---all's that missing is this ceratin sum of money to buy the building materials. one of the few plans to earn such is the rummage sale...we had it in katipunan (unit 313 near teriyaki boy) on september 24th and 25th. preparations and pricing is not easy but when you think of the possibility of earning for a cause, nothing's difficult :) we got us more that 11000 php in 2 days...that's a woot! (far from what we need though but still enough to keep our spirits high)... part2 of the rummage sale will be november 12th and 13th, anything you can do to help (donate goods for the sale, buy goods during the sale, volunteer your time, share to others what our activity is about), please do. together let's help make dreams come true.

LIBRARY: a possible dream

A LIBRARY FOR THOSE CUTE LITTLE KIDS
WHY NOT???
WITH YOUR HELP, THIS WOULDN'T BE
AN IMPOSSIBLE DREAM
please visit http://www.kaeskwela.org/ for more details on how you can help :)

a life in seven words

the following words and quotes are all from the book (of the same title) by carlos g. valles sj. i must have loved reading the book so much that i took time in noting these words in my diary --- my diary of more than a decade ago, which i surprisingly found in between piles of magazines i'm supposed to throw away last night...there must be reasons why i found it...and maybe this (sharing to you some) is one of them.

WORDS ... words are lovely seductress with their feminine charm and lexical elegance. they are irresitable temptress of subtle ways and hidden harmonious.

TRANSPARENCY... may it fill the air with its sound while it fills my soul  with its meaning. there is health and life and spirit and innocence in it...to be clearly and plainly what i am. without disguise, masks or cosmetics. it seems so simple. and it is so hard.

CREDIBILITY... credibility does not mean that people should believe what i say, but that they must see i believe in what i say...not to convince...but to let them see i am convinced of what i say..

CREATIVITY... that is the salt of life and the breath of the spirit. the divine touch that brings light out of darkness and order out of chaos...creativity is the divine spark in the midst of human heart.

INTIMACY... what matters in life is friendship, and the human soul rests ultimately in love...the most delicate lesson in living...is the one we are less taught.

WONDER... it is the virtue of the child. the innocence of life. the ability to see and learn, to be. the open face...the unspoilt memory...everything is new...everything is marvelous...everything is seen for the first time.

EARTH... i was an ecologist before i knew it...love of nature, neighborliness with the environment, devotion to water and caresses to rocks, reverence to mountains and contemplation of the sea were all parts of myself ever since i have known myself. mother earth. salute to the sun. friendship with the stars...citizens of the universe.

YES!... it is music on your life, it is a burst of life, it is generous and joyful expression of all that you are and want us all to be with the courageous openness and that spontaneous originality that are your own life and your gift to us all. it is a swift syllable, a sharp note, a shooting spark. it is an act of faith.