she's rose, she rose... (throwback 2015)

I witnessed someone shedding tears for a dear departed. 

I asked myself, why do we do that? 

(I do that all the time and I regret it specially when 

I'm with others who are obviously living and 

continuously battling the tides of life) . 

Later that day, I was given a sad news 

of another young friend's passing. Heart attack at 29... 

To remove my mind from possibly condemning such weakness, 

I thought of paying tribute to someone still alive. 

So she'd be able to read my thoughts about her instead of saving it 

for some time else :)

Ms.Rose, thank you for your 14 years 

of serving the Business College office. 

You have been with several bosses and workmates 

and you have successfully proven that tolerance, patience, 

humility and the acceptance of the fact that you are not perfect 

(who is...? anyways) but will continue to learn, relearn or unlearn 

depending upon the needs of the times. There were bad days, 

some bad moves but there were a lot of good ones too. 

However ways, you deal with the ins and outs of days 

like a true soldier of  fortune. 

You are a friend to almost everyone 

(your trying to keep peace are at times misunderstood), 

you are an uncomplaining workmate 

(haha, you do complain, yes? but you try to make it through), 

you are a loving wife 

(we seldom hear you badmouth your spouse) 

and a cool mom 

(dancing, singing, reading, watching shows & 

conversing with your dalaginding). 

You are a good daughter and sister too. 

Given those facts and the upcoming years 

which I am certain will still be filled with challenges, 

I could only pray that you'd be given enough strength and 

divine guidance and overwhelming drive to be your usual cheery 

yet efficient self or better.
Do know that we appreciate your presence 

in our working lives. We thank you for helping us in ways you knew how. 

With you, we will keep trying to fulfill our purpose in this world.

RX for pain -MJ songs [tb041810]

like a comet blazin across the evening sky, gone too soon...
bestfriend matet sure knows how to break a heart when singing this MJ song. she also knows how to psychologically torture a friend in doing so...she is as calm as an ocean, but as deep too. she hangs on to MJ's song lyrics when she can't seem find the right words. we always say ---oh, (insert an MJ song here), that's your RX for your pain today.

matet (maria theresa) is the 3rd portion of the tres marias of MSU high school in the early 90's, i being the 1st (alfie maria) and kulot being the 2nd (mary anne). we have our own world. yes! apart from the rest of the class, from the rest of the school...sadness has been close as my next of kin, then happy came one day, chase my blues away...we lazy our days away by strumming guitar or just singing.

there were even days when we call a local TV station (showing old MTVs) alternately and request MJs songs the entire day. remembering was fun. singing then is great. but now we're apart (physically, that is). kulot is in gensan, busy trying to make ends meet. i am in manila busy trying to sort my priorities in life. matet is busy, chatting with MJ, i suppose (she died of liver cancer, yes, she too was gone. too soon.). we we're good students but most of all, we lived then-doing what we loved, loving what we do.

but with the songs and the memories, somehow it's enough... with a friend to call my own, i'd never be alone...it's when we were young and carefree and we lock the classroom door and dance 'dangerous' or 'beat it' as we laugh oh so loudly with our moves or those times when we choose a secluded spot in the campus and try to mimic MJ and paul mccartney in 'this girl is mine'...that damn gone girl is mine' ...matet left, our friend (we know he felt it from afar) MJ left too. but once in a while we gather in spirit, have our RX and go through the day renewed...we stopped existing and we started living...

you know what's making me feel sad now? it's kenny wizz- MJs impersonator from vegas. he will be visiting my hometown come may 2  and perform in memory of his hero (forever michael). if i was only near kulot and matet was only around, we will be the first to get our tickets and storm our way to lagao gym...i can see us laughing, dancing, singing and chatting our way as if we are the only people in the world. but then again, it wouldn't be possible. maybe, just maybe, there will be new 'tres marias' on that night...and like us, they will also get to see (or hear) our RX for pain - MJ songs.

lessons from japan

1. THE CALM - 

Not a single visual of chest-beating or wild grief. 

Sorrow itself has been elevated.

2. THE DIGNITY - 

Disciplined queues for water and groceries. 

Not a rough word or a crude gesture.

3. THE ABILITY - 

The incredible architects, for instance. 

Buildings swayed but didn't fall.

4. THE GRACE - 

People bought only what they needed for the present, 

so everybody could get something.

5. THE ORDER - 

No looting in shops. 

No honking and no overtaking on the roads. 

Just understanding.

6. THE SACRIFICE - 

Fifty workers stayed back to pump sea water in the N-reactors. 

How will they ever be repaid?

7. THE TENDERNESS - 

Restaurants cut prices. 

An unguarded ATM is left alone. 

The strong cared for the weak.

8. THE TRAINING - 

The old and the children, 

everyone knew exactly what to do. 

And they did just that.

9. THE MEDIA - 

They showed magnificent restraint in the bulletins. 

No silly reporters. Only calm reportage.

10. THE CONSCIENCE - 

When the power went off in a store, 

people put things back on the shelves and left quietly.
Now that is a good example of an evolved nation.

***this piece was taken from a group email, 

just thought this is really worth sharing***

my valentine, my hero, my other-half

yes. i am making a blogpost about the husband. and as you know (as was posted in those very few posts that i have about him), it just IS hard to do so and still i don't understand why. he just is SOME topic to talk about. but here i am, making another attempt to write a little about him- to kick-off the month of love.

have i told you that i decided to accept him as an important part of my life in valentines day of the new millenium? apparently, my previous relationships (all of it good ones though) weren't Y2K compliant. but with him i decided to give love another shot. and for about 10 years now (and counting), he is my valentine. he is not perfect (IKR - no one is), but he is my mr. right (oh yes, no one, IMHO will ever know how to deal with an 'interrupted disturbed being' that is me.

and here it is again...i don't know what to write anymore. see? this always happens. how do i continue- oh! ... even though he says he feels that i don't love him at times, deep in my heart i always do. i memorize his face, i know his joys and pains even before he express them...and surprise!, i wrote (and still writing) all his messages since year 2000. and i mean ALL. i got me several bounded papers where all his messages are written. one anniversary, i showed them to him. he was shocked or amused or amazed or touched or everything in one. but this isn't about him right? this is about me. oh my. how do i?

okay. as always. i'd go for what's first to come to me...1-2-3. aha! (lightbulb) - his usual schedule! nah, this isn't just an ordinary schedule, it's a schedule he adopted 'coz i am not (physically) present. yes. unlike other husbands, he was ever so willing to let me go (temporarily) and take care of himself, the house, our dear boyman wowa alone. it's not really like going away, i am just on my sabbatical, sadly in a university 2-hour flight away from home and the fare is so expensive especially for an ordinary college teacher like me, hence, can't go home as much as i/we wanted to.

here's it: (the sked! you forgot? LOL. i write down all his messages remember? those were my references for this)

0430 am - alarm on. time to stretch and jog on post.
0500 am - wake up wowa, assist him in preparing (bath, changing to school uniform, checking the school bag for everything he needs for the entire day) while he cooks breakfast for them and lunch for wowa (he has to bring lunch to school).
0620 am - breakfast and time to prepare himself (bath, uniform - sometimes he has to iron the uniforms first when he forgets to do so on weekends et. cet.)
0640 am - time to clean-up a bit, have his bike (motorcycle) ready  and drive to send off wowa to school
0730 am - drive his way to work, if he arrives earlier than the gatekeeper, he prepares his itenerary (by the stairs) or sms chat with me.


0800 am - it's fieldwork time. he goes to several customers, checks on their account, reminds them of their dues (this he does rain or shine, and when you're living in gensan --rain really rains and shine is shine that burns)
1130 am - he drives off back to our house, make a decent meal for himself (sometimes he buys from a nearby kitchenette) and have his lunch, occassionally sending me sms about how the morning went and what he is having and asking me what i'm having for lunch.
1230 pm - he sleeps (siesta time) for a while.


0130 pm - he does the dishes (used during breakfast and lunch, and when he cooks, that means a lot of dishes plus cooking utensils to wash)
0230 pm - back to fieldwork.
0330 pm - he makes the day's report at the office, checks on other files, tracks on his progress for the week and/or talk to his workmates about their funny experiences in the field and sometimes at home.
0500 pm - after time-off from work, he drives straight to wowa's school to fetch him (wowa waits for about an hour at the library, or at the playground).


0515 pm - he talks to his friend (father of wowa's classmate julia) while they wait for them as the tutor helps the two in their assignments (he decided to do so when he keeps on falling asleep, tired from the day's work when supervising wowa busy with his assignments).
0645 pm - they pass by a nearby wet market to buy meat, fish or veggies to cook for supper or the next day (he likes them from the market rather than from the ref).
0700 pm - he cooks dinner while wowa plays outside with the neighboring kids.
0730 pm - they eat their supper. wowa helps clean up, hub does the dishes (sometimes with the wash machine on).
0830 pm - as wowa prepares his school things for the next day, it's TV time for both.
0900 pm - his DVD movie time while jogging on post sometimes; sleeptime for wowa (this is our usual phone bonding time too, 'til he gets so sleepy, we pray together and exchange iloveyous, imissyous and goodnights).


1000 pm - his usual goodnight (or if there's something in the wash machine, he rinses the laundry by hand). at 1200 mn or 0200 am i sometimes get sms from him tellng me that he woke up to drink water and that wowa is sound asleep...or he sms me at 300 am telling me wowa has bouts of cough and that vicks and blanket helped ease it.

on saturdays, it's almost as usual except for the need to leave wowa at my mother's house since it's not a school day. on sundays, they clean house or wash/iron clothes or visit friends, or take time off for malling (groceries or movies when there's extra funds) and bonding.

that's it. that's how the hero works day in, day out 'coz we noticed expenses are less when there's no househelp. they have managed and coping for years now (with occassional help from my mother too). hopefully by midyear i'd be back home and ease up my hero's sked. come valentines, we'd celebrate it far from each other again but with him and with our dear wowa  everyday is valentines :)

mantra: ganda-ever-so-much I AM!

i have always been a wannabe-writer. but since (then president) fidel ramos wanted me (and other iskolars ng bayan) to study economics, i did. i figured i could still be a writer (in my own time/ in my own way) and an economics professor if i so think and want it that way. 'organized' as i am (no violent reactions please), i alloted to spend some of my free time online -- sharing my thoughts (even tutoring for free) to my students and friends. i even junked my old diary and shifted to this page... and sometimes i do what teeners call "surfing". oh my, that surely beats library time!!!

one fine day, i spotted a page with a picture of someone who looked familiar. was he the manager of my bank (well, not actually MY bank, but i have an account there!)? oh yes, he is the 'orman manasala'! he was all candid in his shots and ever darlingly-frank in his words. he was all he is even when i see him in my miga anji's office.

so i 'favourited' the page and since then have been craving (pardon my word) for not just his personal thoughts but of the happenings of my ever-beloved-adopted-hometown gensan (he's the usual fairy behind the fests).

fast forward: i got to know him better and somehow up-close (as with http://www.gandaeversomuch.com/)  when his ever-active kuya avel made me an official member of the soccsksargen bloggers, even as i am miles away from gensan (hopefully temporarily). the two sure is the duo that completes the circle of gensan living (huh, that line has a spark of genius!). thanks heavens for them!

super fast forward: i intended (for days now) to make a tribute entry for the blogpage that has been amusing and informing me for so long (it's the blogoversary!!!) but so oh oh, here goes the dreaded 'block' again (excuses, excuses)... so what i did was visit the page once more...and...woot! contests to the max! prizes-ever-fabulous-to-be-given-away. what a way to celebrate! ganda-ever-orman-style! beat that!

will i join? do i know how to? oh well, tech-idiots sure do know how to find ways. now, if only this tech idiot can find a way to at least make the page orman/lyle-readable before this week's contest ends . oh well, whatever happens, as inspired by ganda-ever so much --- ganda-ever-so-much-i am! (how's that for my new mantra?)

CONGRATULATIONS GANDAEVERSOMUCH!!!

pixs you see in this entry is my weird-almost-futile-attempt to promote myself to a tech-slowlearner from a tech-idot. (doh) failed!