september blues

there are moments when life seems to be passing so fast, so fast you can't help but 'unnotice' the days--days of recalling, of remembering, of un-learning...what is in september that gives one the 'creeps'? i, specially find september creepy. is it because of the memories september has much on-hold? is it the date per se? is it the song? the poem? the people? the person? the man.

do you remember the shirt that you wore then? do you remember the dew that you felt on your face as the night grew darker? do you remember the trembling hands and those soft, confused lips? whatabout those letters, do you remember your unguarded thoughts? do you remember your dreams and hopes and hurts and wishes and always-ever-wanting-to-sleep-to-get-away-from-it-all and just feel the beating of your hearts? memory, is a monster i once read: you think you have it? no! it has you.

there are moments when life seems to have flown real fast. my mind auto-deleted the hurts and the pains, believing i partially asked for those and just enjoyed the torture for some time---these are the days when i'd prepare myself to let go of the 'september blues' and forget about the 'creeps'. come september, i'd say---you are wonderful to recall. you are beautiful to remember. you are my favorite mistake.

re-entry 060506

for a while now, i have been addicted to thinking...

so much have happened and so much is to be thought of.

years before, my compulsion when these thoughts enter my system is to sleep---

it's the best freedom (or escape)i could ever think of.

but now, i have realized i need to wake up (in and out)

to understand my thoughts and if i dont understand my thoughts...

id let it drift like a true sportsman hehehe...

tsk tsk tsk ... for a while now, i have been addicted to thinking...

what a wonderful addiction this is.

(this is how i felt today--- tomorrow, my thoughts would be different--- perhaps).