Wednesday, August 26, 2015

flashback 1110: not a love letter

dear not-dear,
i know you knew from the start
that i didn't love you.
i know you knew that i was just forced
to deal with you, to try to love you,
to try to make you love me too.
i know you knew that i find it difficult to do so
but just the same i tried.
in fact, i tried and gave my best effort
so sooner or later you'd give me back
what i deserve.
i have sacrificed a lot in this set-up.
and the more i do so, the more i hate myself
for making this decision.
and since i have already started, i have to at least
try finish this 'game' or whatever it is you call it -
post grad if you must!
as much as i can, i'd deal with you...
i'd try love you and
i'd try to make you love me too.
but do know that as of this moment-
i want you dead!
yes, i want you dead but i know
that isn't possible.
i might end up the one being 'dead' in the long run.
i'd just content myself with letting you know
these ---
i don't love you.
i don't want you.
i don't need you.
aaaarrrrrrrggggghhhhhhhh!

Friday, August 21, 2015

reminder... once more


Wednesday, August 5, 2015

mine is jovit :) have you met yours?

i think i may have... the manboy, hub :)
but i think that mate isn't just one but one at a time,
depending on my need and state...as with a friend,
a soulmate would be of help if you try to be your own's friend/mate too...

richard bach spoke of soulmate very well when he was asked
about it (and his courtship with leslie) -

"A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys,
and keys to fit our locks.
When we feel safe enough to open the locks,
our truest selves step out and we can be completely
and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are
and not for who we’re pretending to be.
Each unveils the best part of the other.
No matter what else goes wrong around us,
with that one person we’re safe in our own paradise.
Our soulmate is someone who shares our deepest longings,
our sense of direction.
When we’re two balloons,
and together our direction is up,
chances are we’ve found the right person.
Our soulmate is the one who makes life come to life.”


...
oh well, chances are,
sometimes we are too busy looking for that soulmate
only to realize he/she is it long after he/she is gone. what a waste!