Monday, February 28, 2011


after three weeks of almost nothing
i have to wake myself up
why, was i asleep?

after three weeks of almost nothing
i have to cheer myself up
why, was i down?

after three weeks of almost nothing
i have to motivate myself again
why, was i discouraged?

after three weeks of almost nothing
i have to face the days heads high
why, was i feelin' incompetent?

after three weeks of almost nothing
i have to make myself believe
why, was i feelin' hopeless?


come to think of it...
those three weeks of almost nothing
were few of the best weeks i had.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

sometimes, you just have to know...

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

my valentine, my hero, my other-half

yes. i am making a blogpost about the husband. and as you know (as was posted in those very few posts that i have about him), it just IS hard to do so and still i don't understand why. he just is SOME topic to talk about. but here i am, making another attempt to write a little about him- to kick-off the month of love.

have i told you that i decided to accept him as an important part of my life in valentines day of the new millenium? apparently, my previous relationships (all of it good ones though) weren't Y2K compliant. but with him i decided to give love another shot. and for about 10 years now (and counting), he is my valentine. he is not perfect (IKR - no one is), but he is my mr. right (oh yes, no one, IMHO will ever know how to deal with an 'interrupted disturbed being' that is me.

and here it is again...i don't know what to write anymore. see? this always happens. how do i continue- oh! ... even though he says he feels that i don't love him at times, deep in my heart i always do. i memorize his face, i know his joys and pains even before he express them...and surprise!, i wrote (and still writing) all his messages since year 2000. and i mean ALL. i got me several bounded papers where all his messages are written. one anniversary, i showed them to him. he was shocked or amused or amazed or touched or everything in one. but this isn't about him right? this is about me. oh my. how do i?

okay. as always. i'd go for what's first to come to me...1-2-3. aha! (lightbulb) - his usual schedule! nah, this isn't just an ordinary schedule, it's a schedule he adopted 'coz i am not (physically) present. yes. unlike other husbands, he was ever so willing to let me go (temporarily) and take care of himself, the house, our dear boyman wowa alone. it's not really like going away, i am just on my sabbatical, sadly in a university 2-hour flight away from home and the fare is so expensive especially for an ordinary college teacher like me, hence, can't go home as much as i/we wanted to.

here's it: (the sked! you forgot? LOL. i write down all his messages remember? those were my references for this)

0430 am - alarm on. time to stretch and jog on post.
0500 am - wake up wowa, assist him in preparing (bath, changing to school uniform, checking the school bag for everything he needs for the entire day) while he cooks breakfast for them and lunch for wowa (he has to bring lunch to school).
0620 am - breakfast and time to prepare himself (bath, uniform - sometimes he has to iron the uniforms first when he forgets to do so on weekends et. cet.)
0640 am - time to clean-up a bit, have his bike (motorcycle) ready  and drive to send off wowa to school
0730 am - drive his way to work, if he arrives earlier than the gatekeeper, he prepares his itenerary (by the stairs) or sms chat with me.

0800 am - it's fieldwork time. he goes to several customers, checks on their account, reminds them of their dues (this he does rain or shine, and when you're living in gensan --rain really rains and shine is shine that burns)
1130 am - he drives off back to our house, make a decent meal for himself (sometimes he buys from a nearby kitchenette) and have his lunch, occassionally sending me sms about how the morning went and what he is having and asking me what i'm having for lunch.
1230 pm - he sleeps (siesta time) for a while.

0130 pm - he does the dishes (used during breakfast and lunch, and when he cooks, that means a lot of dishes plus cooking utensils to wash)
0230 pm - back to fieldwork.
0330 pm - he makes the day's report at the office, checks on other files, tracks on his progress for the week and/or talk to his workmates about their funny experiences in the field and sometimes at home.
0500 pm - after time-off from work, he drives straight to wowa's school to fetch him (wowa waits for about an hour at the library, or at the playground).

0515 pm - he talks to his friend (father of wowa's classmate julia) while they wait for them as the tutor helps the two in their assignments (he decided to do so when he keeps on falling asleep, tired from the day's work when supervising wowa busy with his assignments).
0645 pm - they pass by a nearby wet market to buy meat, fish or veggies to cook for supper or the next day (he likes them from the market rather than from the ref).
0700 pm - he cooks dinner while wowa plays outside with the neighboring kids.
0730 pm - they eat their supper. wowa helps clean up, hub does the dishes (sometimes with the wash machine on).
0830 pm - as wowa prepares his school things for the next day, it's TV time for both.
0900 pm - his DVD movie time while jogging on post sometimes; sleeptime for wowa (this is our usual phone bonding time too, 'til he gets so sleepy, we pray together and exchange iloveyous, imissyous and goodnights).

1000 pm - his usual goodnight (or if there's something in the wash machine, he rinses the laundry by hand). at 1200 mn or 0200 am i sometimes get sms from him tellng me that he woke up to drink water and that wowa is sound asleep...or he sms me at 300 am telling me wowa has bouts of cough and that vicks and blanket helped ease it.

on saturdays, it's almost as usual except for the need to leave wowa at my mother's house since it's not a school day. on sundays, they clean house or wash/iron clothes or visit friends, or take time off for malling (groceries or movies when there's extra funds) and bonding.

that's it. that's how the hero works day in, day out 'coz we noticed expenses are less when there's no househelp. they have managed and coping for years now (with occassional help from my mother too). hopefully by midyear i'd be back home and ease up my hero's sked. come valentines, we'd celebrate it far from each other again but with him and with our dear wowa  everyday is valentines :)