at a loss

it's been 3 weeks. still i can't build my ideas/framework/path to my exit paper. what's happening? i'm at a loss. inspiration, where are you? spark of genius, where are you? adrenaline rush, where are you?...ohm ohm ohm. i tell you, this will be a nonsensical entry. i have to let this out or else this will poison whatever sanity i have inside. four more papers for the various courses i foolishly took this semester. one major project for the german class. one overly-fundamental written exam for a core subject...and review review review for the five comprehensive exams to be taken at exactly the same date as my 33rd birth anniversary. those and the framework of my exit paper (they love to call it dissertation) ---> the cross-eyed bear. waaaahhhh!!! my escape? funny thoughts while supply lasts... see pictures. but yes, i must wake up and do start producing before it's too late. kill me- kill me quick!

oh well, class field work:zambales

it started out as a class requirement: to experience nature and understand its system as affected and affecting other systems. it started out as a map: to determine the sources and possible impacts of toxic waste to nature. it started out as a study tour: to see how people took care of animals that may have been harmed intentionally or unintentionally by human activities...took it with a bad heart coz those out-of-school-vicinity-trips is way too costly for scholars like me. imagine me computing for the relative cost of the trip in terms of my daily food supplies.

but how did it end up? it ended up with me being tired-yet-fulfilled, sad-yet-hopeful, broke-yet-happy... this is one class requirement/mapping/study tour i'd never forget.