RX for pain -MJ songs [tb041810]

like a comet blazin across the evening sky, gone too soon...
bestfriend matet sure knows how to break a heart when singing this MJ song. she also knows how to psychologically torture a friend in doing so...she is as calm as an ocean, but as deep too. she hangs on to MJ's song lyrics when she can't seem find the right words. we always say ---oh, (insert an MJ song here), that's your RX for your pain today.

matet (maria theresa) is the 3rd portion of the tres marias of MSU high school in the early 90's, i being the 1st (alfie maria) and kulot being the 2nd (mary anne). we have our own world. yes! apart from the rest of the class, from the rest of the school...sadness has been close as my next of kin, then happy came one day, chase my blues away...we lazy our days away by strumming guitar or just singing.

there were even days when we call a local TV station (showing old MTVs) alternately and request MJs songs the entire day. remembering was fun. singing then is great. but now we're apart (physically, that is). kulot is in gensan, busy trying to make ends meet. i am in manila busy trying to sort my priorities in life. matet is busy, chatting with MJ, i suppose (she died of liver cancer, yes, she too was gone. too soon.). we we're good students but most of all, we lived then-doing what we loved, loving what we do.

but with the songs and the memories, somehow it's enough... with a friend to call my own, i'd never be alone...it's when we were young and carefree and we lock the classroom door and dance 'dangerous' or 'beat it' as we laugh oh so loudly with our moves or those times when we choose a secluded spot in the campus and try to mimic MJ and paul mccartney in 'this girl is mine'...that damn gone girl is mine' ...matet left, our friend (we know he felt it from afar) MJ left too. but once in a while we gather in spirit, have our RX and go through the day renewed...we stopped existing and we started living...

you know what's making me feel sad now? it's kenny wizz- MJs impersonator from vegas. he will be visiting my hometown come may 2  and perform in memory of his hero (forever michael). if i was only near kulot and matet was only around, we will be the first to get our tickets and storm our way to lagao gym...i can see us laughing, dancing, singing and chatting our way as if we are the only people in the world. but then again, it wouldn't be possible. maybe, just maybe, there will be new 'tres marias' on that night...and like us, they will also get to see (or hear) our RX for pain - MJ songs.

i teach best what i most need to learn [tb091410]

on the 16th i'd be presenting my paper in a national conference. i have been teaching for 12 years now, but still i can't help but feel nervous everytime  i speak. others say they hardly notice my nerves when i speak---pft! that's because they can't feel me shivering and sweating, they don't see me vomitting the day and a couple of hours before, thay don't hear me asking the moon to take me or the earth to swallow me...

if i'd have the chance to talk to me today, here's my script:

stop those negative thoughts sakura! negative thoughts will kill whatever confidence you have left in that weird system of yours. what negative things you say to yourself, about yourself, inside your head is probably worse than anything else other people say to you. STOP! it doesn't help you thinking that way. STOP! those things in your head---they are not real! your audience are people too. they are just curious. if one is sarcastic, just think that he/she may have had a rough childhood/or may be having a midlife crisis. if one is irking you, smile and politely answer him/her what you know. you know more, you know better 'coz that's your work. goodluck and hey, if you come out alive afterwards (i'm sure you will), have an icecream and dance as if no one's watching...blah blah blah.