good byes are necessary for us to meet again

they are my friends, i talk and listen (read: read) to them almost every night, topics range from believing in myself to journeys of a confused to learning a thing or two about other culture...i depend on them when my mind is tired...when my heart is aching...when my body can not seem to take the pressures my mind and heart are subjecting themselves into. in short, they are my savior- my bedside books.

but there came a time that i used them as an escape, they send me far from where i am, and there i go hoping and wishing that i'd never go back to what i should be doing (reading-scholarly journals, writing-scholarly articles)... they are good friends, they shield me from hurts, they take me as far as i want them to, they hide me from my monsters and make me feel alright for a time. soon, i was seeing more of them than what is needed, i had to re-think and rethinking i did. hurting as it may seem, i tied them (all 25 of them- see list below) using my favorite red ribbon, placed them in  a good bag and had them sent to my old study area 2-hour plane ride away from where i am now.

i had to say goodbye to them...and yes, as the old savior's manual would say--- goodbyes are necessary for friends to meet again. i know i'd see them again. i'd be able to talk to them again. i'd have them beside me again, just ever-near when i need them. but for now, i had to let go of them so they won't be used as an escape- 'coz it's becoming unfair to them to be treated that way. goodbye dear friends.

jonathan livingston seagull - running from safety - illusions, the adventures of the reluctant messiah - a gift of wings - biplane - nothing by chance - one - bridge across forever - hypnotizing maria - the prophet - punchlines - loving each other - humor for a women's heart - the 12th angel - sula - eat pray love - stainless longganisa - silas marner - mr. blue - songs of solomon - oliver twist -  trivia of the silver screen - to kill a mockingbird - memoirs  of a geisha - best of a lady - robinson crusoe (audio)

june. fathers' day. what's that?

and so,
the father's day fever will soon die out.
on some occasions I wish I had one near...
but more often,
I see it (having none) as better
than having one who only teaches you
the meaning of broken promises,
shattered dreams even.
bitter as this may sound but
that's the truth
and that's the magic of acceptance.
in the end
I won't depend on anyone
to remind me that a good sense
(being sensible yet not overly sensitive)
will help me survive,
that being kind isn't synonymous
to being weak and
that my true boss is the Jewish carpenter...
and that I have to rest/sleep and
somehow be thankful
there's always something to live/look forward to...