unsent...TB1988

i am slowly forgetting you --- and i am not liking it...I want to keep you in my memory. I want to keep you in my heart. why is this memory's such a monster...? One day, I will soon forget...but I don't want to be alive in that one day... You are beautiful...you are smart...you are practically better than I am despite of your illness...you can sing...you can dance, you can even dress yourself modestly yet with good fashion sense at such a young age...I am missing those days of singing and dancing together....I know that you are going away but i tried to deny it and I went on living with you as if you'd be with me forever. My mistake! I should have hugged you more. I should have loved you better. I should have told you that I cared and that I am willing to take care of you...but what did I do? I feel like I made you feel like a nuisance to me in those last days of your life... God, forgive me! Marion, please forgive me...