NOT JUST ABOUT JOB; IT IS ABOUT RESPONSIBILITY

Ever borrow a friend's awesome camera? 

You don't pay them a salary, right? 

You borrow it with the understanding you'll treat it with care, 

take amazing photos, and return it safe and sound. 
Our elected officials are similar.
We "lend" them the power of their office – a powerful tool –
with the expectation they'll use it responsibly
for the benefit
of everyone.
It's not just about checking off boxes on a to-do list;
it's about making the community thrive. 
Sometimes that means making tough decisions,
even unpopular ones. 
So, let's secondthink saying, "Do your job!" and start asking,
"Are you using the power we've entrusted you
with to create a better community for all of us?" 
It's about more than just a job; it's about responsibility.

i am tired! give me rest! [re-entry 2011]

as it was, this heart should be broken

as it goes, it has played all the mendin'

as it is, broken pieces no offendin'

as the heart, all its pride a-stolen

"should" shall i use, of no use

"should" shall i say, i to choose

the heart he had chose have been cruel

the heart she had chose is no-duel

the hearts they had hurt is a fuel

to the fire in both hearts...

whose heart was it again?

whose heart is the villain?

this heart should have had its rest

this heart have had all hell's best

whatabout, i say, the unfinished test?

i am tired, i am tired, give me rest!

one of the best days of 2015

 

THROWBACK:

14 March 2015

One of my favorite life events...

This is when we came together at the University of the Philippines Amphitheater and joined voices for the music video of a song composed by Gary Granada. While Manong Gary said “awiting mala-harana sa bayan”--- a serenade calling for solidarity in promoting nationalism and genuine change, I told my friends and fam that I'd be a part in the making of "Kundiman Para sa Bayan"

Over a hundred voices, young and old came from members of student organizations, cultural groups, choirs, bands, and music enthusiasts of various professions...

this photogrid is from the blogspot of naquem... that lady in maroon and white, that's me :) 

this official group pic is from Karl Ramirez... 
best day of my life. Thank you LAPIS 

unsent...TB1988

i am slowly forgetting you --- and i am not liking it...I want to keep you in my memory. I want to keep you in my heart. why is this memory's such a monster...? One day, I will soon forget...but I don't want to be alive in that one day... You are beautiful...you are smart...you are practically better than I am despite of your illness...you can sing...you can dance, you can even dress yourself modestly yet with good fashion sense at such a young age...I am missing those days of singing and dancing together....I know that you are going away but i tried to deny it and I went on living with you as if you'd be with me forever. My mistake! I should have hugged you more. I should have loved you better. I should have told you that I cared and that I am willing to take care of you...but what did I do? I feel like I made you feel like a nuisance to me in those last days of your life... God, forgive me! Marion, please forgive me...

re-entry 2004

stolen from cummings
(where are you? ahhh... you're just here)

i carry your heart with me
(i carry it in my heart)
i am never without it
(anywhere i go you go, my dear;
and whatever is done by only me
is your doing, my darling)
i fear no fate
(for you are my fate, my sweet)
i want no world
(for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon
has always meant
and whatever a sun
will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root
and the bud of the bud
and the sky of a tree called life;
which grows higher than the soul can hope
or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder
that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart ---
(i carry it in my heart)

-------------------

those 4 hours of heaven and hell those hands of yours on mine those lips... those eyes--- was it just yesterday? or has it been decades? stupid stupid stupid me... why did i let go of the moment? why can't i just stay there with you... if i did, will you stay with me forever??? -----

the end's prime

there in a night solemn and cold where black feathers flew off their nest where heavens gems gave a glow a figured shivered...quivered as it stood while trace of melancholy appeared in hazy shadows 'neath the moon "why oh why" its spirit moaned here the fate of the heart once agog stood with all its throe the soul hoping to find pathos of the everlasting...of the unknown the soul in its havoc flew then thought the sunrise and sunset were coeval...and... death...a prime. and the night grew darker its solemness fell deep the thickest leaf closed in coldness slowly the stars seemed to fall asleep the sky casted a dim - very dim glow tired crows seeking refuge among the branches of the trees that swayed with the breeze the figure shivered...quivered as it stood yet its silhouette remain unfazed the agony of its soul's there still confused pathos...shattered and torn the anguish of its heart stopped 'tho its thoughts then unfathomed suddenly...slowly...a poet's heart...was born.

january 18th. fight goes on

 

There were times we get tired and moments our own light goes out but we know we have to keep fighting as we see our Nanay Fely does, still. You know what rekindles that hope, that light? It is rekindled by a spark from all of you... our dear friends, relatives, workmates and 

other kind souls from the past. 

As of today, we are given another day (as we consider each day a miracle). Nanay is re-learning how to eat and sip, she still doesn't talk but she moves her hands and nods her head as she recognizes people, she even tries to ask how we are... She's undergoing dialysis every other day and still on close monitoring. We keep hoping she'd get a bit better for surgery and/or go home... 

Each episode causes us (I and my siblings) to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us. DAGHANG SALAMAT GAYUD for all your help, your prayers, your kind words...

We really appreciate them. ***mahigpit na yakap po*** Thank you. God bless you. 

#LabanLang #LordHealOurNanay #Gratitude

be reminded that...

throwback for the 43rd : i am no macrocosm!

loving to the foolest

i went back to the trails we once trod

hoping to find you there still

---but you weren't anymore

my foolish heart

was foolish enough

to assume that

your heart

was foolish enough

to wait foolishly

without a promise

how foolish this heart has been!

i went back to the trails we once trod

hoping to hear your echoes

---but i heard your laughter

your laughter

with someone else

i couldn't talk

i couldn't walk

i couldn't dare 

even to look

at you, at her

how foolish this heart has been!

foolish enough my heart has been again

dreaming you were almost mine

---but you just smiled

and all i have

all i have left

all that is left

are the trails

we once trod

the trails 

the trails

love can seriously damage your health [tb2010]

yes, this is a movie. and i have seeen this movie for free. at instituto cervantes just 15-minute ride away from my cell. with my usual movie-fest buddy ate irene, we shared laughs...true, oh so true. there are times when love... can... seriously... damage... your... health.

here's the synopsis [thank you wikipedia]...Paris. King Juan Carlos I offers a diner at Hôtel Crillon. Diana (Ana Belén) meets Santi (Juanjo Puigcorbé) , an old lover, who now is the King's bodyguard.

They remember how they met each other, 30 years ago, in another hotel, inMadrid. Diana (Penélope Cruz) and Santi (Gabino Diego) met when The Beatles were going to play. He works in the hotel. She hides under John Lennon's bed because she's in love with the singer. But, what starts is an attraction between them. It is an impossible love because she wants to be rich and famous, and he is poor and has to join the Army. When they meet again as grown-ups, Diana has become a socialite, and Santi is a pilot. Both are married, but the love goes on... 

life...is what we make it II

There were many times that my father was ‘absentee’ because of his work,
and then he was ‘deceased’ and it somehow didn’t matter to me anymore.
I knew that as the eldest, I have to be my mother’s assistant,
even a partner in taking care of my siblings and make sure our house is a home-
be it an extension of someone’s garage, a shanty by the ‘riles’ or
a room of a house of a relative. There were happy times, yes.
And we are truly a family, my mother and I made sure of that.
Despite the hardships, we excelled in school.
We were popular because we didn’t allow others to look down on us
and we proved that we didn’t have to be rich to be so.

As a family, we were a strange band of characters-- in the 80’s,
my mother and the three of us, in the 90’s ‘minus’ my sister
who died of leukaemia and another sister who was away from us for 10 years
but then it’s also ‘plus’ a new sister and two brothers
from my mother’s second marriage. We went through life sharing a lot- ideas,
school supplies, socks, toothpaste (even bath towels at times),
coveting one another's desserts, borrowing money, reading each other’s diaries,
inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending,
and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together…
and that common thread is my mother or the love for her.

Family (of origin) shaped my life in one way or another- who I am now
(and I have my own family), how I act, and how I keep my values,
and especially how I formed my identity. I have to form my own identity
besides the pre-wired identity that my family built because I realized that
I cannot depend on that (there were times I do not know what I want to be,
but I am quite sure of what I don’t want to be so I take it from there).

I remember some seven years ago, a girl called and told me that her dying father
is my father too, and that I have to give my forgiveness so that he would die in peace.
Fast forward, no one knows yet if this was true but I had another family added on my list.
Here, I was exposed to stories of how ‘this father’ was and how I came to observe
that we share a lot of commonalities and this made me wish I have met them
(he and his family) before he died. My choices and priorities now
are based on what I wanted my new family to be – less complicated, intact and
ever-present for each other. This wouldn’t be difficult (I hope)
because we’re a family of three.

But then I asked myself once:
would I be this strong-willed, patient, and passionate and
beautifully disturbed enough to try to help the least-favoured if we haven’t gone
through all those life’s struggles and complexities?
That is a question I wouldn’t risk answering by application now.

adopted renewed vows?

i really didn't think of my husband to be a sweet or sentimental guy. he would even remind me of that when sometimes i remark about not getting flowers and other romantic stuff on special dates (he would gladly prepare my meal and even peel the skin off from fruits for me though).

i looked back and realized how lucky i am to have him in my life. as i wrote before, he isn't perfect but IMHO, he is way better than others in being a husband and father  as well. here's his once in a blue moon semi-sweet attack (dated september 29, 2008) obviously from something he must have seen or read somewhere...i gladly kept this in my inbox 'til now and wonder when will i get another one LOL

i acknowledge my shortcomings and failures. i give up my pretenses and excuses. i renew my marital commitment to love my wife  til the last of my breath- to serve and not to abuse, to cherish and not to forsake, to be faithful and not to betray, to forgive and not to accuse, to protect and not to hurt. 

need i ask for more???

loving this song, in catholic mass celebrations

I, the Lord of sea and sky,

I have heard my people cry.

All who dwell in dark and sin,

My hand will save.

I, who made the stars of night,

I will make their darkness bright.

Who will bear my light to them?

Whom shall I send?

Here I am, Lord.

Is it I, Lord?

I have heard you calling in the night.

I will go, Lord, if you lead me.

I will hold your people in my heart.

I, the Lord of snow and rain,

I have borne my people's pain.

I have wept for love of them.

They turn away.

I will break their hearts of stone,

Give them hearts for love alone.

I will speak my words to them.

Whom shall I send?

(Refrain)

I, the Lord of wind and flame,

I will send the poor and lame.

I will set a feast for them.

My hand will save.

Finest bread I will provide,

'Til their hearts be satisfied.

I will give my life to them.

Whom shall I send?

(Refrain)

april fools

Given Facebook 

and all other social networking sites, 

with short messaging coming in 

at almost no expense 

and sending mails within seconds, 

I could only hope 

that relationships have become stronger... 

love and friendship bonds getting tighter. 

But then again, 

it seems to me that some found it harder 

to communicate and express themselves better. 

Why? 

Perhaps we need to rethink and re-align. 

Photos and thought posts... 

what must they convey???

Pope Francis visits Pinas

January 15, Thursday

5:45 pm - Arrival at Villamor Air Base in Manila. 

January 16, Friday

09:15 am - Welcome ceremony at the Malacañang Palace. 

11:15 am - Holy Mass with the bishops, priests, and others 

from religious orders at the Manila Cathedral

5:30 pm  - Meeting with families 

(pre-selected by Philippine dioceses) at Mall of Asia Arena

January 17, Saturday

08:15 am - Departure from Manila for Tacloban

09:30 am - Arrival at the airport of Tacloban

10:00 am - Holy Mass near Tacloban International Airport

12:45 pm - Lunch with some of the survivors of typhoon Yolanda 

at the Archbishop’s Residence in Palo, Leyte

3:00 pm  - Blessing of the Pope Francis Center for the Poor

3:30 pm  - Meeting with the priests, seminarians and families 

of the survivors at the Cathedral of Palo, Leyte

5:00 pm  - Departure from Tacloban to Manila

6:15 pm  - Arrival at Villamor Air Base in Manila

January 18, Sunday

09:45 am - Brief Meeting with the religious leaders of the Philippines 

at the Pontifical University of Santo Tomas in Manila

10:30 am - Meeting with the youth at the Sports Field of the UST

3:30 pm  - Holy Mass at the Quirino Grandstand, Rizal Park in Manila

January 19, Monday

09:45 am - Send-off ceremony at the 

Presidential Pavilion of Villamor Air Base in Manila

10:00 am - Departs for Rome

5:40 pm  - Pope arrives at the airport of Rome/Ciampino


[source: https://ph.news.yahoo.com/papal-itinerary]

love... is all there is.

love in a blue mountain

love in a deep blue sea

love in a world around us

around us to see

love in a blue mountain

love in a deep blue sea

love in a poet's heart

love that is so free

love in a blue mountain

love in a deep blue sea

love in the artist's hands

'tis a love to be

love in a blue mountain

love in a deep blue sea

love in the Force within us

love for you and me.

new year

all the same

you come

you go

you come again

and say you'd go

apologies

accepted though

back to where

you were before

you and her

once more...

when you need to

when you want to

sound mind says

not fair

coz

it's all the same

you come

you go

you come again

and say you'd go

don't let her go

don't let her

don't.

soul-cleaning II

“When faced with senseless drama, 

spiteful accusations and unfounded opinions, 

stand up for yourself. 

Christ always met his accusers and listened. 

Do all that you can to understand their motives, 

then focus on how you can heal them. 

There are some people that can carry wounds for so long 

and all they need is for you to listen without judgment, 

in order to heal the situation. 

They remain silent not because they don’t care. 

Their pain gives themselves away. 

They simply don’t trust you will hear them and validate how they feel. 

You might not agree with them, but peace isn’t about being right. 

It is about the willingness to hear the pain of another, 

then agreeing not to contribute to it anymore. 

However, realize that there are some people 

that simply want to be a victim. They will deny their actions, 

jabs and insults and magnify your actions to the extremes. 

They will blame you. 

Love these people also 

because something happened to them in their life. 

They will profess they are simple, easy going people 

that avoids drama. However, that is not true. 

They rise with conflict. 

They are passive aggressive types 

that pull people into their petty disputes for support 

because it feeds the attention they lack. 

They are supercharged by drama, 

or they wouldn’t seek it out and participate in it. 

Love them also because somewhere in their life 

they were made to feel unimportant. 

This destructive pattern for healing their wounds 

is short lived and will often repeat itself, 

until real therapy can occur.” 

― Shannon L. Alder

choose. choices. choice.

There were many times that my father was ‘absentee’ because of his work, 
and then he was ‘deceased’ and it somehow didn’t matter to me anymore. 
I knew that as the eldest, I have to be my mother’s assistant, 
even a partner in taking care of my siblings and 
make sure our house is a home- 
be it an extension of someone’s garage, a shanty by the ‘riles’ or 
a room of a house of a relative. There were happy times, yes. 
And we are truly a family, my mother and I made sure of that. 
Despite the hardships, we excelled in school. 
We were popular because we didn’t allow others to look down on us 
and we proved that we didn’t have to be rich to be so. 

As a family, we were a strange band of characters-- in the 80’s, 
my mother and the three of us, in the 90’s ‘minus’ my sister 
who died of leukaemia and another sister 
who  was away from us for 10 years 
but then it’s also ‘plus’ a new sister and two brothers 
from my mother’s second marriage. We went through life 
sharing a lot- ideas, 
school supplies, socks, toothpaste (even bath towels at times), 
coveting one another's desserts, borrowing money, 
reading each other’s diaries, 
inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, 
loving, laughing, defending, 
and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together… 
and that common thread is my mother or the love for her. 

Family (of origin) shaped my life in one way or another- who I am now 
(and I have my own family), how I act, and how I keep my values, 
and especially how I formed my identity. I have to form my own identity 
besides the pre-wired identity that my family built because I realized that 
I cannot depend on that 
(there were times I do not know what I want to be, 
but I am quite sure of what I don’t want to be so I take it from there). 

I remember five years ago, a girl called and told me that her dying father 
is my father too, and that I have to give my forgiveness 
so that he would die in peace. 
Fast forward, no one knows exactly (yet) if this was true 
but I was (and still am) glad to have another family added on my list. 
Here, I was exposed to stories of how ‘this father’ was and 
how I came to observe 
that we share a lot of commonalities and 
this made me wish I have met them 
(he and his family) before he died. Given that, my choices 
and priorities now however 
are based on what I wanted my own family to be – 
less complicated, intact and 
ever-present for each other. This wouldn’t be difficult (I hope) 
because we’re a family of just three. 

But then I asked myself once again: 
would I be this strong-willed, patient, and passionate and 
beautifully disturbed enough to try to help the least-favoured 
if we haven’t gone 
through all those life’s struggles and complexities? 
That is a question I wouldn’t risk answering by application now.