Monday, June 17, 2013

dream or warning?

i am fond of dreams... but lately, they're disturbing me... and i so wish i could just go back to being a child again... those days when dreaming is just dreaming and not being disturbed by it when i woke... but then again, there's no turning back... these dreams, it seems to me, are here to stay... which reminds of one day in 2010...

yesterday, i just found myself talking with filbert, i can say i wasn't listening intently coz i can read from the way i look that i have been thinking of something else. i can see tita fidela's face light up too, as if happy to see me again, as if happy to see filbert and i chatting the way we used to. she's preparing a meal when i said i needed to catch a plane. in my mind i know i have to say goodbye to wowa and jovit first. but at that moment, the need to catch the plane is greater. maybe i thought i'd be back in no time so 'goodbyes' won't be needed.

so filbert took me in a bike with a sidecar and did the best he could to bring me to the airport (i wondered why it seemed too near), he even helped me beg (to the staff/airport personnel) to let me in even without my ticket ( i assumed i left it at home or somewhere but their database will surely tell that i'm on the list). the plane was for take-off, i did my best to be on it, even if it meant running to catch it, opening its door and throwing myself in (like a cartoon character). yes, i thanked heavens i got in.

after a while i noticed the earth so muddy, and i asked myself why the plane has to go through muddy earth when it can lift itself up soonest. i noticed too, that passengers weren't on seatbelts and they're all looking at me (one familiar face, was it matet? blurted out, "i think i know her" referring to me). they were all trying to be at the far end of the plane as if for fear of something. i went past them and tried to stay in front. i was annoyed to see a cockroach and a black cat just roaming in the plane floors. i tried asking the man beside me but i was shocked to see kuya richard. i thought he would be happy to see me but oh, it seems i was wrong (in my mind i was terrified coz i know kuya has been dead for almost a month). he shouted at me, "alfie, bakit andito ka? hindi ka pa dapat nandito ah. bakit ka kasi nagmamadali? dapat hindi ka nagmadali! (alfie, why are you here? you are not supposed to be here yet. why are you in a hurry? you shouldn't have hurried!).

that's it! i woke up. then...i realized everything's a dream. or...
was it a warning?

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