august longing...

i waited for you dear, where are you now?

i long for your touch, kiss, smile

are they still there...meant just for me?

was i wrong to long for you too much?

was i wrong to control myself when

it is what you wanted me to do

was i wrong to hide, to not to see you?

i wanted to and it is slowly killing me 

and you feared for me to realize...

your love..our love is the killing kind

i prayed for rain to wash my tears away

i prayed for rain to wash my fears away

i prayed for rain to wash me

the whole of me...away

yet the rain have decided not to fall

rain a-hiding me from, miser

too tired to wash other system's pain

i waited for you dear, where are you now?

i'm still longing...for your mere presence

are you still there? be still...be still

let the tears and fears drown me...

let your love...our love kill me.

Fashion Rev for KaE too!

Fashion Rev is a fashion and lifestyle bazaar 

happening on November 19 and 20, 

10am to 10pm at the Megatent (beside ULTRA).

Aside from being a beneficiary of a portion

of the profits of this event, KaEskwela will be there!

We will sell books and comics, and distribute flyers.

See you there!!!

the promise...

show me no tears my dearest

i shall be back soon

this goodbye is not forever

we're under the same moon

sing no sad songs my dearest

my ears are tired of them

make no promises if ever

'tis a rose without a stem

i may be very far my dearest

but i shall be back soon

this goodbye is not forever

we're under the same moon.

space for hope

not tens but hundreds
not hundreds but thousands
not toys but real people
---...flesh and blood
i wasn't gifted with sound eyes
but something inside me
saw those...clearly

not hundreds but thousands
not thousands but millions
not records but real voices
---...rose in anguish
i wasn't gifted with sound ears
but something inside me
heard those...clearly

i saw the flesh---the blood
i heard the cry---the pain
though numbness filled my system
---...i saw and heard
saw and heard those clearly
but something inside me
whispered...be silent

though i saw the flesh and the blood
though i heard the cry of pain
though it's unmistakably clear
---...i couldn't do a thing
it's these eyes...and these ears
and it's the something inside me
who couldn't...who wouldn't

how can i---in the midst
of the crowd's altercation
in a world once a haven
---...now desolated and forlorn
how can i in the midst
of the deafening silence
of unexplainable darkness

i have a heart---a heart once cold
i have a soul---a soul once lost
i know, i know, i feel i have
---...with all these
i saw and heard and felt
but something inside me
just couldn't...wouldn't

i tried so many times
many many many times
but i just couldn't
---...couldn't help though i tried
not ten times but hundreds
not hundreds but thousands
not thousands but millions.

SOLE with a SOUL!

I can't help but be elated 
of this Good news!

KaEskwela is now

in partnership 

with a flip flops store
(The Sole Project) 

to provide some of our 

beneficiaries with slippers 

by December---

just in time for Christmas eh? 

For every pair of The Sole Project 
Flip Flops you purchase, 
a new pair of flips flops goes to 
KaEskwela. Yeeeha!

The Sole Project is located at 

Stall 64-C Cubao Expo, 
Araneta Center Cubao, Quezon City. 
Store hours are at 
4-9pm on Wednesdays and Thursdays;
4-10pm on Fridays and Saturdays; and 1-5 pm on Sundays.

If you are considering buying a new pair of flip flops, 
for yourself or for someone else--- please consider buying them at The Sole Project. 
Let's start the merry christmas season this early and help
Kaeskwela bring smile to youngsters soonest :) 

buried alive

i saw them
...clearly
they didn't notice me
my pleading eyes
or they didn't want to
...even to touch me

i heard them
...clearly
they didn't hear me
my silent cry
or they didn't want to
...even to touch me

no eyes, no sound eyes
no ears, no sound ears
but i saw them
but i heard them
...clearly

my friends - the others
they're once used and abused
wrecked, wrecked, wrecked
i saw and heard and felt
...clearly

they're gone, gone now
like a sinking ship
abandoned by the crew
gone, gone, gone
...forever

but i - am here
silent and pleading
waiting for someone
to look at, to see me
...even to touch me

touch and open and read my mind
touch and open and know my soul
touch and open and see the world
you'll get to understand them
...clearly

only if you notice - my pleading eyes
only if you hear - my silent cry
only if you open - my dusted door
only if you want me
...even to touch me.

kokak: my #2, #4 and #5 GESM page favorites [a repost from july 18, 2010]

it's not everyday that i get to think and re-think about my favorite blog entries in my one of my favorite blogsites. as i confessed months ago, i'm an avid reader of the candid-candy-slot-machine-type of page orman manansala has. not only because he's from gensan too but also because it fills my wishing-to-be-that-brutally-frank-not-minding-it's-published urges. last week, i came up with my top5 favorites, in time for his contest about such...but i was kinda having second-thoughts of joining, hence, it's 'piled' as draft. i figured i could just rewrite it (with no contest in mind) anytime soon.

rewriting (for the nth time) i'm now ready to tell him and the world [all of my lucky-19 registered blog-readers, my thousands (evilsmirk) of page viewers, hundreds of fans and who-knows-how-many friends (whew!)] my favorites (my 3 of the many).

#2 SILWAY IN MY MIND @  http://gandaeversomuch.com/2009/08/what-ever/silway-in-my-mind/ .
i so love the simplicity of this entry, reminds me a lot of how i feel everytime i think of that old street in my mother's hometown (somewhere in leyte). it's the knowing that once in your life, you have been a child of that street and the memories of the street in your mind keeps on haunting you everytime you see changes through the years. it seems like you can still feel the dust in your feet, can still feel that old familiar breeze and hear the once-loud chimes of a dear old church...

#4 MAGUINDANAO MASSACRE @ http://gandaeversomuch.com/2009/11/lungkot-ever/maguindanao-massacre/ . this is an entry with a negative material (figuratively). even as i am in manila, i felt the pain that my friends and people of the whole of soccsksargen  and the world felt hearing/reading this tragic news. my plurk timeline was filled then with expressions of sympathies and anger and pain... i kept myself abreast with everything about the incident and prayed prayed prayed. this page, is not one of my favorites because it was an instrument of shock but because it reminded me how life is fleeting and how it can be cruel at one time.

#5 LESSON IN HUMILITY @ http://gandaeversomuch.com/2010/01/serious-ever/a-great-lesson-in-humility/. as with my #1 and #3 (please don't ask me about this- *giving an evil-grin*), this page showed the human side of orman, and i love it so much when i read a page that's unafraid and ever-willing to let go of human emotions (what are blogs for?), one to share the deepest pains (joys too) and one with lessons to teach. one to remind me that i may not live long enough to make all the mistakes in the world (if lessons are to be learned from my mistakes alone).


so there. that's that. and that's why.

P.S.---thank you orman. keep writing. keep sharing. keep living (you know- say it the way pacman does). [ooops, pictures we're stolen from the webpage http://www.gandaeversomuch.com/ --- hope you don't mind. (cozy) thanks!]